Why We Resist Actions that Benefit Us

Have you ever found yourself staring at a task you know is important? A project at work, a workout, or even something as simple as admin work. Yet, you just can’t bring yourself to start. You feel the resistance. That mental block that keeps you from diving in, even when you know it’s good for you. It’s frustrating, right?

You might find yourself asking: Why can’t I just bring myself to do it? Why is it so hard to enjoy doing difficult things that I know will benefit me?

Here’s the truth: It’s not you — it’s your brain. Our minds are wired to resist anything that requires physical or mental energy, especially if it’s uncomfortable or painful. And the more your brain associates a task with discomfort, the more likely it is that resistance will show up.

But understanding this dynamic is the first step toward overcoming it.

Why Do We Resist What’s Good for Us?

The problem starts with the way our brains are designed. Your brain’s primary job is to conserve energy and avoid pain. So, when you’re faced with a task that demands effort — whether it’s physical, like exercise, or mental, like a tedious work project — your brain perceives it as a threat. This activates a stress response, and suddenly you feel that overwhelming resistance.

Here are a few examples:

• Boring tasks like admin work or a long presentation might trigger feelings of discomfort. Boredom, while often overlooked, is actually a painful emotional experience for your brain. It’s uncomfortable and signals that your brain isn’t being mentally stimulated.

• Exercise is another common culprit. Your brain associates physical exertion with pain, energy expenditure, and sometimes even boredom. That’s why getting started on a workout feels like a battle — the moment you think about it, your mind starts generating reasons to avoid it.

This resistance isn’t just about being lazy; it’s your brain trying to protect you from discomfort. Unfortunately, this avoidance strategy can actually harm you in the long run.

The Downside of Avoiding Discomfort

When you give in to this resistance and avoid doing things that are good for you, you experience temporary relief. It feels good to skip that workout, put off that project, or avoid the unpleasant task. But here’s the catch: This relief is short-lived, and the cycle of avoidance reinforces itself.

Here’s how it works: Avoiding discomfort is a form of negative reinforcement. You avoid an unpleasant experience (like boredom or physical pain), which gives you temporary relief. But this only strengthens the habit of avoidance. Over time, this becomes a vicious cycle, where your brain learns to resist anything that feels uncomfortable.

But this doesn’t just affect your to-do list. The long-term effects of avoidance can include:

• Increased anxiety and stress: When you constantly avoid uncomfortable tasks, the underlying anxiety or stress doesn’t go away. In fact, it builds up, and the problem becomes bigger.

• Reduced emotional resilience: Avoidance keeps you from developing healthy coping mechanisms. Over time, it can even lead to deeper emotional struggles, like depression or burnout.

• Lower self-esteem: When you regularly give in to resistance, it erodes your confidence. You start to feel like you’re incapable of getting things done, which only adds to the cycle of avoidance.

The Key to Breaking the Cycle: Choosing Discomfort

So, what’s the solution? It’s all about how you respond to your thoughts, feelings, and sensations.

Here’s the important distinction: It’s not the discomfort itself that’s the problem — it’s how you react to it. Everyone experiences uncomfortable thoughts and emotions, but the issue arises when we react by avoiding them. When you habitually avoid discomfort, you limit your ability to cope with it, which makes it harder to handle in the future.

On the other hand, if you choose discomfort — if you lean into the difficult task instead of running from it — you begin to break the cycle of avoidance. Deliberate discomfort helps you grow, learn, and build resilience.

Here are a few strategies that can help you build emotional resilience and overcome resistance:

1. Start with small steps: Tackling large tasks head-on can feel overwhelming. Instead, break them down into manageable chunks. Completing small steps can create a sense of accomplishment and build momentum.

2. Develop a routine: Structure and routine are powerful tools for reducing resistance. Set specific times for tasks like exercise, work, or self-care, so they become ingrained habits rather than choices that trigger resistance.

3. Practice positive reappraisal: This involves changing how you view a situation. For example, instead of seeing a workout as a painful task, reframe it as an opportunity to feel stronger or more energized afterward. Changing your perspective can make the discomfort more tolerable.

4. Set boundaries: Boundaries are crucial for maintaining emotional health. When you learn to say no or prioritize certain tasks over others, you reduce unnecessary stress and avoid burnout.

5. Journaling for emotional processing: Writing down your thoughts and feelings can help you process discomfort in a healthy way. Journaling helps you get out of your head and work through difficult emotions instead of avoiding them.

In Conclusion

The next time you feel that resistance to doing something important for your well-being, remember that it’s not your fault. It’s just your brain trying to protect you from discomfort. The key is not to fight your feelings, but to face them head-on and make the choice to engage with the discomfort instead of avoiding it.

By building emotional resilience and practicing strategies like positive reappraisal, journaling, and setting boundaries, you can gradually train your brain to embrace discomfort — and even start enjoying the challenges that once seemed impossible.

If you’d like more tips on how to manage resistance, build resilience, or improve your emotional coping strategies, check out my guide on journaling here, or get in touch for personalized coaching support here.

Take action today — your future self will thank you!